writer

Look at me now (prt 2)

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Look at me

Look at me now

Why you always got to yell at me?

Why you got to be so loud?

Tell me what did I do?

Besides live my life the best I know how to

You're a part of me

Turning your back on me

Bringing me down

Look at me

Look at me now

Tears streaming down my face

And you're so loud

I wish I could silence you out

But dammit I don't know how

Why you so fucking insensitive 

Knowing I'm sensitive

Telling me I should quit

When I know that's not the answer

For this shit

When I know I'm tougher than this

But you keep telling me it'll be easier if I end it

When you know I'm trying to prevent the shit

Look at me

Look at me now

Can't even keep my head up

And you trying to make me question my God

Just because he doesn't seem to be around

Or to be found

But I know he'll make a miracle for me

Someway, somehow

You keep calling me weak and a coward

You've been attacking me for hours

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I'm tired of hearing you attack me for hours

You've been doing this since I was a child

You hate me?

Well I hate you

For all the shit you put me through

Constant badgering in my mind

I'm fighting a war against you

I don't know if people really know what that's like

Being in a war inside your own mind

Either you win to stay alive

Or fucking die trying

Man I'm getting tired of trying

This shit is tiring

So many hours of crying

I've created monsoons in my bedroom

And I've been so loud

Hoping someone hears my heart wrenching sounds

But nobody seems to come around

Look at me

Look at me now

Can't even keep my head up

And you're trying to make me question my God

Just because he doesn't seem to be around

Or to be found

But I know he'll make a miracle for me

Someway, somehow

I can hear you now

As I write this shit out

Telling me it's an easier way out

But wouldn't that make me a coward?

It's what you been calling me for hours

Maybe the real coward is you

And I ain't nothing like you

You hate that you're a part of me

Well I hate that you're a part of me too

For trying to make me believe ending my life

Is the best thing I can do

Because that's something I won't go through with

So you think if you convince me enough

I'll finally go through with it

Man I'm sick of this shit

A war against my own mind

Headaches constantly ravaging my mind

Just want to take these pills to ease the pain

But I know if I do you just might get your way

And I'll cross the line

And overdose like you want me to

So I fight through it all the time

I'll show you how long I can fight

Look at me

Look at me now

I don't know how I'm gonna win this war

But dammit I'll figure it out

Even though I'm fucking depressed

A fucking mess

How can anyone love a person like this

I'm fucking sick of this shit

Let me smoke my weed

And numb shit for a little bit

Because you like to put me through it

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Stop being a bad influence

I'm not gonna go through with it

I fucking hate you

Nobody knows what it's like fighting this war

Against you!

Years after years

Rounds after rounds

Fighting you all alone with no support around

And I'm still here so who's the WEAK ONE NOW!

FUCK YOU!

Look at me

Look at me now

Scared to look in my eyes

Because you see the strength coming back to life

Look at me now

Cause now I got my head up

Telling you don't make me question my God

Just because he doesn't seem to be around

Or to be found

But I know he'll make a miracle for me

He did it once

He'll do it now

Dear Onlooker

Dear onlooker take a look at me

Grab your magnifying glass

Take a look at the insanity

You can barely see

Looking past the eyes

At the terror the lies behind

There's a war inside my mind

Only a fool would try and save me

Do you see the evil that hides?

Contaminating my mind

Over and over on the silent nights

Intruder how could you do this to me

Did my eyes look like diamonds

Caused by my tears from the venom

Spewed from between your teeth

And did my blood look like art

Spilled upon your feet

And you called it a masterpiece

Destroying me was your sick fantasy

But became my nightmare turned reality

The cancer from your cigarette 

Is what's left after I made you leave

Eating away at me

Headaches are constant thing for me

From this war in my mind

Dear onlooker can you see

All the evil that hides

All the evil that hides

The terror the intruder left behind

Left behind

Break a spirit down

Then have a couple rounds

Celebrating with their filthy crown

I remember the liquor being brown

The night I hit the ground

I wish there were a way to erase memories

Then maybe this war

I've got going on

Wouldn't be happening

I don't know how much more fight

I have left in me

These demons not trying to let me

Heal me

Intruder how could you do this to me

Did my eyes look like diamonds

Caused by my tears from the venom

Spewed from between your teeth

And did my blood look like art

Spilled upon your feet

And you called it a masterpiece

Dear onlooker take a look at me

Grab your magnifying glass

Take a look at the insanity

You can barely see

Looking past the eyes

At the terror the lies behind

There's a war inside my mind

Only a fool would try and save me...