Key To Happiness

Miche in her home studio after finishing “Key To Happiness”

Miche in her home studio after finishing “Key To Happiness”

Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed.
— unknown

Think about that quote for a minute and really take it in. A lot of times we block our own happiness by harboring a lot of things that we should of let go a long time ago, including myself.

My own struggle with finding my happiness is still an everyday battle. A lot of days I cry and other days I’m all smiles and laughter, but everyday, my mind is a non stop locomotive train on an infinite track going hundreds of miles per hour. Thoughts after thoughts going deeper and deeper into a dark abyss. When I tell you I’m an over thinker, I AM. My mind has caused me to have anxiety attacks or develop habits such as pacing a room back and forth when the thought train won’t stop and I find myself in the darkest parts of my mind where I suddenly feel…A L O N E and S A D.

When I first started this piece, I had no idea what it would turn out to be or where it would be heading. All I knew was I wanted to start with one color, orange, it’s my favorite color. From there, I did whatever came to my mind and rolled with it. I say all the time my paintings are access to my subconscious mind and a way for me to relieve pain. Even though I technically don’t FEEL any pain, I know it’s there. I’ve officially reached the point of numbness and to be honest, call me crazy, it kind of makes me sad…being numb. I’m hurting so badly that I’m numb. It’s like, my body and mind can’t comprehend that even more emotional pain is possible, because I’ve exceeded it so instead, I’ve gone numb. Crazy right? And this painting, this painting my mind (well subconscious mind) has conjured up reveals secrets to me and helping me understand my emotional state at this moment.

The sadness in the face, full of blue and disoriented. Thoughts manifesting themselves into whirlpools of tears that almost drown the figure crying in agony. Of course, there goes that infamous track of the crazy locomotive that goes on to infinity. Through the hazy clouds and through the field of poison where the mushrooms are bound. You don’t know where it’s coming from or where it’s going to. Did it already pass? Is it in the abyss? You’ll never know. And there it is, the key, the key to happiness. So big, so close and yet so far. Standing tall like the ultimate trophy prize, the key. Get it and unlock the happiness that will make the violent whirlpools calm like a still lake. The key that will make the infinity train stop its violent course. But, how do you get it? Stuck on a infinite locomotive track that travels through clouds and fields of poison going hundreds of miles per hour…how do you get the key? What would YOU do to get the key? What would you risk?

Sometimes it feels like it’s almost impossible, but even then, that word itself says I’m possible”.

PROCESS VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4yeeUkRbHE

"Key To Happiness’" November 16, 2018. All artwork and images are copyrighted. All rights reserved

"Key To Happiness’" November 16, 2018. All artwork and images are copyrighted. All rights reserved

Seeing Things Differently

(I decided to upload a separate video of me creating the painting flipped the CORRECT way.)

Yesterday's painting REALLY had me trippin', thinking "am I going crazy?" for two reasons:

The video playback was flipped horizontally. When I'm finished going live and I look back over the recording, every video the paint is on the right side as it SHOULD be. However, for some strange reason yesterday, when I finished going live and looked over the video I was VERY confused. The video was flipped and everything was the opposite. It messed with my head so much I was trying to figure out what happened and why. I didn't change my setup or devices although earlier before I went live, there was a slight glitch and I had to turn my iPad off and back on to start over. But, I didn't think that would make such a difference. I reached out to one of my viewers that always watches me and asked them when they watched me live was everything on the opposite side. They confirmed that it was and that it's always been that way when they watched me live (they've only seen me live on Instagram, I'm not sure how Facebook live viewers saw it). I had NO idea. I never edit or flip my videos so I figured everyone saw it how I saw it when I played the video back. Guess I was wrong and for the first time I saw myself mirrored and from a different perspective.

This painting turned out looking EXACTLY (if not exactly damn near identical) to one of my other paintings. This also tripped me out because I painted to a different song and danced to it differently, yet somehow, it came out looking like a split image of one of my other paintings. 

Challenging myself and taking this journey has taught me many things, expanded my creativity, and opened my mind even more. But, so far, I think yesterday's painting has mind boggled me the most and taught me about perspective. Not EVERYTHING is how you see it to be. Our minds as well as our eyes can even deceive us from time to time and make us see things differently then what they actually are. Think of it like this...have you ever had something happen to you in your life and when you recall back on that particular moment through your memories, you remember it but everything is the opposite. Or, have you ever watched a clip and then later on seen that same clip maybe a few weeks later but you don't recall seeing it flipped? If you follow along with what I'm saying then you get what I mean by how the mind plays tricks on you. Everything isn't always how you see it to be and it's important to remember that. It happens EVERY SINGLE DAY in the media. Salt even looks like sugar. Also, when it comes to perspective, everyone's is different. Not everyone will see things they way you see them and that's okay. It does not mean they way other people see things is any less valuable than how YOU see things. It's good to have an open mind and to try and understand other people's way of thinking and maybe even try to see things through their eyes and see things differently than how you normally would see it. It just might boggle your mind in an amazing way like yesterday's painting did me. 

Yesterday's painting was definitely an eye opening one. So much so, I actually got a headache later on LOL! That's how much it blew my mind. Overall, I felt amazing as usual afterwards. This spiritual journey is definitely taking my to great depths within myself and opening my mind even more. I am already a pretty open-minded person, It's just amazing to me how much more one can expand their own mind if they choose to challenge themselves. There are still lessons to be taught on this journey, and yesterday taught me a good one when it comes to perspective. When things like this happen I become even more eager to do more paintings. I want my knowledge to expand some more. It truly is an amazing feeling.